Do Opposites Really Attract?
Posted by livinforhim316 on September 13, 2007
When you think about opposites, you usually think of things like “night and day”, “life and death”, or maybe even the Red Sox and Yankees. Have you ever thought that couples can be opposites? My relationship is living proof that opposites DO attract.
Some of you may be reading this because you are in the “friendship” stage and aren’t sure if your differences will prevent you from dating. Some of you may be reading this because you are in the first stages of your relationship and aren’t quite sure if you should work through your differences or simply throw in the towel. Some of you may even being reading this because you are in a long-term relationship and want assurance about your differences. No matter why you are reading this post, I can assure you that just because you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are different doesn’t mean that your relationship won’t work!
You may be thinking, “You don’t understand - I am totally different from this person I’m in love with!” I can honestly say that my fiance and I are pretty much opposites in most every topic. We like to joke that the only thing that is similar between the two of us is that we have two arms and speak English. Granted, that is an extreme exaggeration, but when we are trying to make decisions, it feels that way sometimes! To give you an example of how opposite we are, we once went to Lowe’s and walked around looking for things to put into our future home. I think we looked at about 50 items and agreed on around 6. Common sense tells you that we have a long road ahead of us when it comes to making decisions, however, we tend to look at our differences as a blessing.
I remember when my fiance and I started dating how fast our differences were catching up to us. I preferred the polo shirts while she preferred the hoodies (PLEASE don’t base your relationship on how the other person dresses!). I tended to swing Republican while she agrees with Democrats. I can’t stand dogs, she loves them and wants them in the future (I’m still working on accepting that one…). I love cats, she’s allergic to them. As you can see, we didn’t have many things going for us! We quickly realized that even though we had these glaring differences, we had one thing going for us…
The thing that we did have going for us was our FAITH. That’s right, since this is a Christian dating blog, it’s important to note just how important faith can be in a relationship. You’ll be amazed at how the other things don’t really matter that much once you base your relationship around Christ and His plans. Am I saying that if you both are Christians and believe the same things that life won’t be hard? No - you’ll still have to make some very difficult decisions (the fact that you can come to God in prayer helps in those decisions!), but it’s such a blessing to know that the “important” things are agreed on.
If you are still in the friendship stage wondering if you should pursue a dating relationship, a basic question to ask is “do I like spending time with this person?” I know people who have the same interests as me, however, we usually don’t spend time together because it’s no fun talking to them! Differences can be a great thing in relationships! Why would you want to date someone exactly like yourself?!
If you are thinking about throwing in the towel of your new relationship, ask yourself where the relationship is headed. Do you see yourself getting married to this person while glorifying God in all you do? If your boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t a Christian and you are, it’s going to be tough to make your relationship succeed and therefore you should end the relationship (I’m a strong beliver that BOTH people in the relationship must be Christians). I realize that may be tough for some of you to hear, but it is so much more important to date a Christian and follow God’s plan than risk losing the intensity of your faith as a result of a boy or girl. If you are glorifying God and are content with your relationship, then by all means continue dating that person!
Once again, I can’t stress the importance of keeping God in the center of your relationship. It’s a given that you and your partner will have differences - no two people are exactly alike. It’s how you deal with those differences that make a successful relationship. If you are struggling with the direction of your relationship, talk to God about it, ask for wisdom and do your best to listen to Him!
