Being Supportive In Your Relationship
Posted by livinforhim316 on September 10, 2007
Every once in awhile you’ll find that you need to give your boyfriend/girlfriend some extra support. A random “I love you” or small note can make their day so much better when things look bad. They may be sick, have a bad day at work or have family problems. All of these issues can leave them hurting and needing someone to be there for them – that’s where you as the boyfriend/girlfriend come in!
My fiance was recently sick with a nasty head cold that kept her in bed most of the day. I remember feeling like I wanted to miraculously cure her cold and make it better. It was terrible having to watch her suffer through this cold and all I could do was to “just be there.” I remember leaving her for the night with the assumption that she would call me the next day if she wanted to go to church or choose to stay in bed. After a restless night, she called me the next morning telling me that she felt even worse than she did the night before!
Since we had to lead youth group that night, she was going to try and rest all morning and afternoon in an attempt to gain enough energy for the meeting. Once it was time to go, she could barely make it to the car – much less lead a youth group! We told the other leaders to head out to the meeting while I decided to take her to get medicine. After getting medicine (I probably got more than she actually needed) I returned to her in the car and then took her back home to get her tucked in. I set out her medicine, started a movie for her and then sadly had to leave for youth group.
After worrying through the youth group meeting about how she was doing, I finally had the chance to see her again after the meeting. She told me how wonderful of a husband I will be! I remember thinking – why?! She proceeded to tell me that I was so supportive of her and it made her feel so much more comfortable! The strange thing about this whole incident is that I didn’t do it for recognition, I just wanted her to feel better and was willing to do whatever I could for that to happen!
Clearly there are going to be times that you need to be supportive other than when someone is sick. The ways you can be supportive vary across a wide spectrum. Do something that you know the other person will appreciate, but don’t do it for your own recognition – do it because you love them and want them to feel better!
The Bible talks about being supportive in many instances. As noted in 1 Corinthians 13, love is paramount when it comes to successful relationships. I personally find verses 4-7 useful when looking how to show love in Christian relationships:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres.”
This is typically a famous passage on love and for good reasons! Those are some strong words that the Apostle Paul is talking about in this passage! Of the many ways love is described, note how love does not boast, is not self-seeking and always protects. I feel that these three points are crucial when being supportive of your boyfriend/girlfriend.
As a general rule, you should not be boasting to your friends and family that you are being supportive, you should be supportive out of love! It’s easy to feel like you are doing it for recognition instead of doing it out of love for your boyfriend/girlfriend. Be creative when you are being supportive, just don’t boast about it! Along with boasting, I feel that self-seeking can also be a problem when being supportive. As mentioned before, sometimes you want the recognition of being supportive! In terms of protecting, make sure that your life is glorifying to God and is not making your boyfriend/girlfriend’s life harder due to temptation!
Bottom line, being supportive means doing the right things out of LOVE. Just being there during a rough day is being supportive. Writing a note saying how much you love them is being supportive. Get creative, you don’t have to do something “traditional” to be a supportive boyfriend/girlfriend. If you think that they would appreciate it, then do it out of love!
