Practical Ways To Keep God In The Center

Now that you are in a relationship, keeping God in the center can seem like a daunting task. You may have really busy schedules, different viewpoints on topics or some other problem that can make you shy away from keeping God a constant topic between the two of you. I’ve put together a list of ways that you can share with your boyfriend/girlfriend that will help you in a Godly relationship. I am in no way claiming that the suggestions below are the only thing you need to do, but it is a great start!

Pray Together on a Regular Basis - The key word in this statement is “regular.” I’ve found that if you find a time where the two of you can meet, you need to designate that time “prayer time.” Is it easy to find time when the two of you are free during that point everytime you meet? Definitely not - but if there is a conflict, try your best to prayer either later that day - don’t just skip it!

At first, praying with your boyfriend/girlfriend may seem a little awkward. I’ll be first to admit that! I remember when my fiance and I started praying together we both were surprised at the different styles in which we talked to God. I’ll say this now so you don’t get discouraged  - THAT’S OK! Just because they don’t pray exactly like you do, it doesn’t mean that their praying style is “wrong” or “God isn’t listening” (the second one is just plain crazy). As a story, I remember one time my fiance and I met to pray near a soccer field (this was in college). I had a lot of stuff I needed to do and so I “skimmed” through my prayer hoping that she would do the same so that I could get back to work (looking back on it that was a really bad outlook and don’t recommend it - you ALWAYS have time to talk to God!). Well, she thought that we should try something called “popcorn prayers.” The way popcorn prayers work is that instead of one person praying followed by the other person’s prayer, you pray for just one thing instead of everything. Once you pray for something, the other person takes a turn and prays for one thing. You do this until you can’t think of anything more. Well - she just kept going and going and going - I was getting frustrated and just wanted to be done so I claimed that I couldn’t think of anything more (even though I could). This was still in the early stages of dating, so I was skeptical of the ways she prayed and the fact that I had a lot of work to do didn’t help my willingness to try something new. Looking back on that night, I loved how she prayed and the innocence she shows when talking to God.

Over time you’ll come to appreciate the way your boyfriend/girlfriend prays and may even share stories of how prayer has impacted your life. My fiance and I have been praying together for awhile and both love doing it because not only does it bring us closer to God, it brings the two of us together as a couple!

Listen To Each Other - I’ll be the first one to admit I’m an extrovert. I’m extremely outgoing and love interacting with people. As a general rule, there is rarely silence in any of the conversations I’m a part in. My fiance is the exact opposite (I find this difference a lot in successful couples - it’s a great way to balance each other out). I remember when we first started dating we would go on walks and occasionally there would be a lull in the conversation. As I raced through my mind of anything to talk about, I remember asking her if the “awkward silence” bothered her. She said (1) it’s not awkward and (2) that she likes to reflect on what was just said. As a disclaimer, if you would meet me today I still don’t like silences…

I’m finding that listening to each other is a HUGE part of a successful relationship. You can talk all day long, but if you don’t know what’s going on in your boyfriend/girlfriend’s life, how are you going to help them? Are you going to be able to solve all their problems? No, and that’s frustrating (trust me - I know how frustrating that can be) but you can at least be willing to listen to the other person

Don’t think that you only have to listen to their problems to be an effective listener. My fiance claims I am an excellent listener, but I have my doubts. I can barely let her tell me her day without interrupting her about something! Just being there when your boyfriend/girlfriend wants to talk means so much!

Challenge Each Other - One of the great ways you can challenge as a Christian is to ask them about Biblical topics. These can be verses, passages or even themes found in the Bible. If you are doing devotionals (which I highly suggest) and come across a verse that you think is tough to interpret, ask your boyfriend/girlfriend! See what they think of that verse or passage. You’ll be amazed at the depth of conversations that can form as a result of talking about the Bible. My fiance and I have had numerous conversations dealing with topics ranging anywhere from the role of the husband to why God did certain things throughout the Bible.

Don’t think that challenging each other is limited to topics in the Bible. Apply them to your daily life! If you know that your boyfriend/girlfriend is struggling with a sin (or even the two of you together), challenge them to fix it. My fiance has to regularly challenge (or remind) me to tithe every Sunday. I am not sure why I struggle with this since God has entrusted me with the money He has blessed me with and in Malachi 3:6-17 talks about robbing God by not tithing. As a way to encourage me to tithe, every time I receive a paycheck my fiance reminds me to tithe and to give joyously (which I also think is a huge part of giving!).

Bottom line, challenging each other is a great way to focus on certain aspects and to make yourself a better disciple of Jesus Christ.

Do A Devotional Together - I had talked about this in a previous post about how important this can be. Doing devotionals together is a great way to grow closer and to know more about the other person especially if you are planning to marry them. I once dated a girl that was in a different denomination than me and was in awe at the differences between the two of us!! Even though we got along well socially, the fact that we couldn’t agree on Biblical teachings ultimately ended our relationship - yes, it’s that huge!

You should decide when to do devotionals between the two of you. My fiance and I tend to do them the same time we pray together and that seems to work well. We usually get great conversations in about God and then get to come to Him in prayer together.

As far as deciding which devotional to use, there are many different options out there (I’m sure that you’re aware of this if you’ve ever tried to look for one!). My fiance and I tend to do a variety of devotionals. We have done devotionals where you read a Bible passage and then read what someone  has to say about it, we have done devotionals where you read a passage and then a number of questions are presented and we have even done devotionals where we simply read a book about Christian dating. All three options are great and can strengthen your relationship with each other and more importantly with Christ!

Rely On Older Christians Who Can Help You - This may seem like a no-brainer, but I’ve seen time and time again couples who think they know everything about dating and eventually break up because it becomes too overwhelming. This is an important asset to have - especially when just starting to date. Things may come up where neither one of you are sure of what to do - this is where it’s very helpful to have an older Christian (especially one who is in a serious relationship - preferrably marriage) to ask for advice!

My fiance and I have found this idea particularly helpful. When we started dating, we asked our happily married parents for insight and advice about how to handle certain situations. You may think that the two of you can do it all by yourself, but it’s extremely helpful to have an older Christian available if you can’t!

I hope that you found these tips useful and insightful. If you have any other tips or comments please email me at livinforhim316@gmail.com and I’ll be glad to write a post about it. God Bless!